dear diary
by summerethryrissa
Summary: Ryan is still with Lindsay and Marissa is all alone. Find our what they are really thinking when you read their diaries. major RM. Please RR!


Hey guys, um I think this story is just going to be a one shot or maybe just a couple of chapters-we'll see. Any way I hope you like it and I cant tell how much your reviews are appreciated so please RR! (Also the font is in bold when its Ryan's diary entry and Italics when its Marissa's, might bring Lindsay's diary into next chapter) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I dont own the O.C. sobsob

Monday, afternoon, bedroom

_Dear diary,_

_I saw him today. I was walking to class when our eyes met. He actually smiled at me! I just can't stop thinking about him.When he smiled my heart sank. I think that we had a 'moment' .It was great, that is until Lindsay ruined it. Ryan and I were having our 'moment' when she came up to him, linked her arm with his and then gave him a kiss on the cheek. It felt like someone had just stabbed me in the heart. I hate Lindsay. I just hate her! I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. It kills me to see her with Ryan but I suppose if Ryan's happy I should be content. Right?_

**Monday, afternoon, pool house**

**Dear Diary,**

**Cant write for long have to go and have some Seth/Ryan time but I just needed to tell you something. I saw Marissa today and I have to admit, she looked beautiful. Our eyes met and for a moment I was in another world. Then Lindsay brought me backdown to Earth. I just don't know what to think now. I feel so guilty for thinking about Marissa-I mean she isn't my girlfriend. Why is something inside me telling me the opposite. Poor Lindsay, what am I going to do? She has never done anything to hurt me (well just been a little over protective) but nothing else. Yet I feel drawn to Marissa. I wonder what she is thinking right now; she seemed pretty miffed when Lindsay kissed me. She stormed off in her Marissa-ish kinda way. Anyway here comes Seth g2g. I'll write again soon,****  
Ryan**

**Tuesday, Night, Pool House**

**Dear Diary,**

**Major breakthrough with Marissa. I decided that distancing myself from her is doing nothing but hurting me. I mean surely we could be friends. When I saw her at school today I told her that I wanted to be friends and was sick of the awkwardness between us. She seemed quite startled that I was talking to her but not as shocked as when I asked her if she wanted hang out after school sometime. For a moment there I was sure she was going to say no-She said yes though. That was when it was my turn to be shocked. So that's that Marissa is coming to the pool house tomorrow. Just as friends though. Just as friends….**

_Tuesday, night, bedroom,_

_Dear diary,_

_OMG! I was having lunch with Sum today when Ryan came up to our table to ask to speak to me. I was so shocked; I thought he was talking to someone else. Anyway, so he started telling me all this stuff how he hates it being awkward between us and wanted to be friends and then he asked me if I wanted to hang out sometime. I think my jaw dropped! I probably looked like such an idiot. I hope he didn't notice. I managed to squeeze out a yes though. So now I am going to 'hang with him' tomorrow! But just as friends of course._

**Wednesday, 11am, English class**

**Dear diary,**

**What has life got against me? Lindsay and I had a fight. She isn't talking to me. Its all because she asked me if I wanted to come to her house this afternoon. I couldn't of course coz I'm seeing Marissa. I didn't know what to say I couldn't lie to her so I told her the truth. All I said was "Im catching up with Marissa" and then she started yelling at me saying " I thought I was your girlfriend! How could you betray me like this!" She was so angry but I couldn't cancel on Marissa so I just walked away. I know I should've sorted things out with her but I just couldn't bring myself too. I hope everything goes okay with Marissa.**

n/b: dont worry guys it gets better. I know this chapter was kind off boring but i promise the next one will be better! I cant stress how much i NEED you guys to review-its what keeps me going. thankks! xoxo


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